Married a decade!

September 22, 2001

I remember my wedding day so vividly.... a beautiful warm, sunny day in September, Fall, my favorite time of the year!  We got engaged after 5 years together and planned the wedding in about 6 months. I had a lot of help from my mom, sister and mother in law. I loved planning what I wanted. I wasn't real picky on too much, I wanted to save money and not have it cost a fortune and I felt it was reasonably priced.

 I remember that getting my grandmother from Florida 10 days after 9/11 was so hard. My parents had to drive down and get her and bring her up here for the wedding. She was here and I was so glad for that. I think at the time she was probably close to 90 and such an important part of my life.  I don't remember much about the morning other than getting my nails done and heading to the church to have my hair done. I've not really ever been a nervous person, and I don't recall being nervous this time either.  Most brides are so scared and hoping things go right, I didn't have those worries. The girls I chose to stand up with me are still with me now. My sister, childhood best friend Jaime Speth and a more recent best friend, Lacey Snow. I also had all of their daughters who were about the same age as junior bridesmaids.  I had a good friend of mine, Mike Sherrill, sing a duet with my sister as well as a childhood church friend play the piano. There isn't anything I remember wanting to change, other than Shawn's dad and step-mom being there along with his little sister Julie. Julie was in Kentucky at the time and I had gotten a call early that morning that she had just delivered her first child, Christian Brant. We will always have a special bond with him now, sharing such a special day!

Shawn and I already had Briley, she was 2 1/2 years old.  She looked like a little princess when she was all dressed up. Everything was perfect, my mom helped with every aspect of the wedding.  She was a godsend.... and still is. My step-dad walked me down the aisle to my dad, both very special to me. I remember a young Shawn waiting on me, but for the life of me I can't remember his expression. I always wanted to see what it was. I may need to go back and watch the video again and see what it was.  Anyone that knows me, knows I do not wear dresses, ever. So, this would have been a rare occasion. At every wedding, something happens that makes it special and unique to your day. I remember our pastor, Mary VanWinkle forgetting to let everyone sit down after I came down the aisle.

I watch the bride and groom now stand while a song is played, looking at each other and always wonder what they are thinking or saying to each other. I remember Shawn and I were kind of whispering, but not sure now what about. Every person that showed up made it very special, they were the ones meant to be there. We had a beautiful carriage ride from 4th and Hulman to the Shrine on 7th Street, Larry Sample took us, and it was awesome.

Our reception was the most fun, we closed it down too. Didn't leave until the last person left. Everyone had a blast! We didn't get to go on a honeymoon at all.... at the time we couldn't afford it. Shawn's dad got us a hotel room for the night and about 2 years later we went to Costa Rica and considered that our honeymoon. It was for Shawn's work but it was time alone together.

There have been so many things that have crossed our paths as a couple. It's hard to manage a relationship.  Not only do you have to worry about work, house, kids, bills, family but you have to worry about a healthy relationship between two people. It's hard to make time for each other and once you do, sometimes it's even hard to communicate.  Especially if you have children that you are constantly involved with.  Marriages are 100% on both ends. Sometimes the giving isn't going at the same times, but somewhere, somehow, you have to meet in the middle. On more than one occasion Shawn and I have had to do this. We've had our struggles and had to overcome some obstacles and they weren't always easy.  I have realized that sometimes it's hard to communicate exactly what we want or feel we need out of a relationship, but it has to be done! Marrying someone means you have committed to spending your life with that person...... and sometimes you have to bend one way or another to make things work.  There are always times when divorce is the best thing, but if two people can make it work, I believe that they should. The kids of this day and age need to see that marriage does work, it does still exist and there are people willing to make it happen for a lifetime. I fear kids won't know how to communicate when in a relationship with the ease of having a cell phone that allows texting. It's so easy to text someone, rather than talk in person.

I haven't always done things the right way or the best way in our marriage, but I have tried with all of my heart. I've made mistakes, some big ones but I have put those aside and worked from the bottom up again to try and rebuild. There have been setbacks but one foot in front of the other has gotten me to 10 years married to the person that I have committed to.

I can't imagine there being anyone else in my life.  No one else knows me on a daily basis than Shawn. He takes my mood swings and rolls with them, knows when to just sit back and let things go or let me vent.  I'm not sure anyone else could put up with me, or maybe they could.... but I'm not willing to find out. It's easy to get comfortable, but sometimes you gotta shake that up!

I am thankful God place Shawn in my life, even after 10 years of marriage. I still look forward to 10+ more years of marriage to this man I have loved with all of my heart through the ups and downs.

Posted 12/10/2012   Written 9/22/2011